When the Holidays Don’t Feel Merry: Protecting Your Mental Health Through the Season
By Stephanie Winter, DNP, FNP-C, ENP-C, PMHNP-BC — board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner and owner, Anchor Psychiatric Group. Medically reviewed by Thomas Winter, MD.
Every ad, every playlist, every store display insists this is the happiest time of the year. For a lot of people, it’s actually the most draining stretch of the calendar, and the gap between how the season is supposed to feel and how it actually feels makes it harder.
Why the holidays are hard for so many people
The holidays pile a lot onto a short window: family dynamics that are complicated the rest of the year too, financial pressure, disrupted routines, more alcohol than usual, less sleep, and a long list of obligations. For anyone grieving, the season can sharpen a loss rather than soften it. And for people with seasonal depression, the holidays land right in the darkest weeks of the year.
A myth worth correcting
It’s commonly repeated that suicide rates spike over the holidays. The data doesn’t actually support that, and rates tend to be lower in December than at other times of year. That doesn’t mean the season isn’t hard, it clearly is for a lot of people. But repeating the myth can make someone who’s struggling feel like what they’re experiencing is inevitable, when it isn’t.
The holiday blues versus something more
Feeling stressed, sad, or lonely during the holidays is common, and for most people it eases once January arrives and routines settle back in. It’s worth paying closer attention if low mood lasts for more than a couple of weeks, if it doesn’t lift after the holidays end, if you’re losing interest in things outside of holiday obligations, or if you’re drinking more to get through it.
What actually helps
- Protect your sleep and wake times as much as you can, even with travel and late nights
- Decide in advance what you’re willing to commit to, rather than saying yes to everything and resenting it later
- Keep an eye on alcohol, which worsens mood and sleep even when it feels like it’s helping in the moment
- Keep taking your medication on schedule while traveling, and refill early so a closed pharmacy doesn’t leave you short
- If you’re grieving, give yourself permission to change traditions, skip some, or create new ones
- Plan something for after the holidays to look forward to, since January can feel like a drop off
Family gatherings and old patterns
Being back around family can pull people into old roles and old conflicts quickly. It helps to have a plan going in: knowing when you’ll step outside for air, having a reason ready if you need to leave early, and having one person you can check in with. Boundaries don’t have to be dramatic to be effective.
If you’re already in treatment
The holidays are a common time for missed doses, skipped appointments, and drifting routines. If you know this season is hard for you, scheduling a follow up before mid December, rather than waiting until January, can make a real difference.
How this works at Anchor
Telehealth means you can keep your appointments even if you’re traveling over the holidays, as long as you’re physically located in a state where your provider is licensed at the time of your visit. If you’re not sure, ask ahead of time.
The bottom line
The holidays don’t have to feel the way the ads say they should. If they’re hard, that’s common, and if the weight doesn’t lift once the season ends, it’s worth reaching out.
[Request an appointment] or call 602-241-2828.
Educational content only; not medical advice. If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7) or go to your nearest emergency room.